Hertbreak Diary Part 3

11:00 AM. Again! Ahaha. But somehow I diidn't wake up thinking about him anymore. I didn't feel the hurt. Wow, this is amazing. I began to think of other activities I would want to join as the year 2010 welcomes me. I like to gain weight, be physically fit through kickoxing or the like, be more socially interactive, blog, blog, blog! and of course, be more involved in God's ministry. Aside from cellgroups, I want to join the music ministry,I think my talent in singing was given by God to be used there. I also want to shift company, be more financially stable. And more than anything else,I want to have a fresh, new start for God. I must admit I have taken for granted His Ministry because of my work. My current company is into consulting, and I am assigned in different places according to our client's location from time to time. Ok,so much for that, got to go! :D

Heartbreak Diary Part 2

11:28 AM. Again. I woke up at 11 in the morning! I slept at around 1am, but hey I always wake up @ 7am, my sleep interrrupted. Aaaarrggh. It's always like this. And everytime I wake up, it's hard for me to doze off again back to sleep. My first thoughts were, well, guess what, it's always him and it hurts!

I realized there's no magic word or spell to get ok. Even if I've already accepted it, my prayers can't instantly erase the pain. It's always a gradual process. I must deal with it. No one recovers from a broken heart overnight. Everyday, there are pieces needed to be healed. But what's important is that I'm letting God healed me. One day at a time. Slowly but surely. I know I will be well again. I'm dropping out every thought that puts him in the picure. It won't help me. I've got to move on. I've got to help myself. So, let me not think of him anymore, porsitive thoughts come in! I'm on my way to a better day! woooooohhh! ;)

Heartbreak Diary Part 1

I turned around and look at the time. 11:00 AM. I still don't want to wake up. I wish I could just sleep all day. Or I wish everything's just a dream, nothing is real. It's funny how with just one status of a person can break someone else's heart. But I need to get up. My world does not revolve around one person. I got up from my bed, and saw a sign on the wall:

"When I come to the end of my rope, God is there to take over."

I paused and reflect. I chose to go on and live not knowing what will happen next, than to be trapped in this hallow emptyness. If I'm going to end my life knowing the worst, I will not see the best that is waiting for me if I just chose to let God take over. Today, it's like getting to the end of my rope. But it's not really the end.. God is always there to give us a new start. Sometimes when things don't go our way, it's just a means of God saving us from being destroyed. I know God loves me. And I know I cannot survive the pain, but I can let it GO.. to God's Hands.

"Lord, let me renew my faith and devotion to You. I'm so sorry if I tried to go my own way, and ended up being a loser again. From now on, I will give my all to You. There's no turning back now..I cannot test You. You see evrything and even the unseen. You know me so much I cannot fool You. I know blessings awaits those who sincerely surrender all his/her life to You. I'm doing that now. I entrust to You my All. I love You so much, my Real Lover."

If I could buy time..

If I could buy time..
I'll buy the times when I was younger,
I will not lose the time that I had lost by doing unsignificant things..

I'll buy the times I could have served You, Lord, that I could have known You and share You.

I'll buy the times I could have been a better student and worker,
making my family proud, earning my integrity.

I'll buy the times I could have chosen true friends and not given up to peer pressure.

I'll buy the times I could have done something, said something, that could have changed today
but I did not.

if only I could buy time.. but I could not.
I can only have this time forward, no rewinds.

if i could buy time and change it, I'll change the way I choose my friends.
I'll change the way I choose to give my heart to.

But I only have this time forward..
and i chose to live and not mourn.
For I know, and still believe that God has a great Plan for me..
even though I have disappointed Him so much.

Despite all the failures and mistakes, He's always there to catch me.
He's not letting me go.

I thank God for giving me this time.. a time to reflect and let go..
and let Him take over.

No, I cannot buy time, but what really matters is what I'm gonna do with the time I have left.
If I spend my time wisely now..
maybe things will be different..
maybe things will have sense.

ahihihi

Merry Christmas!
Ho Ho Ho!!!!