Realizations..

I know this is a little late for a new year's resolution. It's been awhile since I wrote something about my life. It's just at this moment, there are so many thoughts inside my head.. some are regrets, some are hopes and some are the things I'm glad I did.

If I am to describe what happened to me in the yr 2007, I would say it's one of the most challenging yet painful yr of my life. Some would say it's just a stroke of bad luck but I would say there's no such thing as luck. Although not everything happens as a result of what we're doing, I believe God has reasons for allowing things to happen. And I know His reasons are just for the best.

I left so many things. I left my company Napar, my second family whom I dearly loved. I left my friends who really cared for me. I dreamt of a productive life, a high-paying job and a new circle of friends. .and so I went to Singapore, although these were not the main reasons why I left. I try my best to always be in line with God's will for my life. And then the unexpected happenned, in just a blink of an eye..everything became nothing..I tried so hard for my purpose not to slip from my grip..

I trusted people, only to realize that I allowed them to hurt me. If ever I have regrets, it's the people that i should not have trusted, and for the precious things I have given..only to be trampled upon. There's no bad luck, only realizations..
And now..I'm letting go of the people who pretended to be my friends. I'm letting go of someone who can't see my worth. And I'm letting go of all the pain, frustations, and failures that hinders me to go on and start again. But I'm not letting go of the memories.. of the precious lessons I have learned the hard way. I learned to respect myself more now. And I learned to listen on things not said, and to see things not really existed.

I might have lost a high-paying job in SG, but I gain a fulfilling job back here. I may have lost close friends, but I found true friends. God emptied me but He refilled me with something better and even fuller than before. If there is one right thing that I ever did last year, it is that I went back home. This is where I really belong, with all the people who were happy to welcome me back home. There are times that I miss Singapore, but I know I'm here in the right place at the right time.

"I was in alone and I needed a friend,
I was in need and I needed a hand,
I was going down.., then Someone rescued me."
--Friends in High Places